365th Page

This day marks the end of another exemplifying book filled with mishaps and mayhems, victories and defeats, and fortunes and misfortunes. Just like any other book, the chapters were  filled with various transitions from happiness to sorrow, but at the end of every chapter,  hope prevailed.  My 2013 novel is divided into 4 chapters:  Rebirth,  Reborn,  Reminiscences and Realizations.

CHAPTER 1: Rebirth 

(January-March)

It was  the start of a new year, I knew it wasn't gonna be great cause I didn't have a nice view of the fireworks display in Eastwood, though it was astonishing  as always. True to my gut feel,  the first 3 months of  2013 were a series of  problems. First we had tons of issues in cheermania, which led to our defeat. It was excruciating to place 8th after almost winning the previous year, but it was something we had to painfully accept. We told ourselves that 2014 will be the year of redemption for us. Our defeat motivated us to work hard and bring the crown to AB, which I hope we will  this year though.  Besides the stress brought by my last months as the ABDS auditor , (we had liquidation problems) I was dealing with the separation anxiety I was feeling since we were reshuffled.  I was missing CA5  so bad and I was struggling to build new friendships in CA2.  It was hard to be in a class  that was divided and had no plans to unite, but this changed me after a while. Before the school year ended,  I was elected as the new Co-Captain Internal of ABDS. It was such a turning point for me cause it was my first time to  attain such position. I felt reincarnated. I was becoming someone new, it was a rebirth. At the end of each day I had hope that 2013's gonna be legendary, and so it did during the next chapter.

CHAPTER  2: Reborn

(April-June)

I suddenly went from being  a good girl to a party girl. It felt like I undergone metamorphosis. I started drinking and party-ing every week. I never thought that loud music matched with alcohol could make me feel so free. With alcohol in my system, things feel so much easier and lighter. All I see are lights, strobe lights to be specific, which changed colors from time to time. The party life is hell fun, but with every ounce of ecstacy comes a price: hangover. Hangovers are such killers, it makes you wish that you haven't drank excessively. This chapter of my life made me who I am today: fearless. I learned that it's not bad to try new things, even if it won't do you any good, you'd still learn from it. Besides, crazy adventures make life exciting. How I Met Your Mother inspired my YOLO life. I want to tell my kids how crazy I was during my younger years and how meeting their father changed my life. This chapter was the best, I may have gained 10 pounds but I lost 100 kilos of fear.

CHAPTER 3: Reminiscences
(July-September)

This was the most heart-breaking chapter. Things (or people) from my past started to haunt me again. I thought I've forgotten about it, but apparently, their presence rekindled the flame. I thought I had to start over, but what I didn't know was I had to stop. This event made me more mature and strong, the hard way. The odds will not always be in your favor for life is not a hunger games battle. We experience heart breaks so we could be indomitable afterwards. Even if the past comes knocking on the door, we should never entertain it again. It's tempting cause it's familiar, but it's wrong in many ways. Things ended for a reason and we must live with it. There's no harm in visiting memory lane, but never ever stay. The past is now a memory,  a memory worth remembering for it was once the best part of my life and I will forever cherish it. On a lighter note, I've built a new friendship with my blockmates. I never thought we would be close but I'm glad  we are now. The reshuffling was the best thing that happened for it not only strengthened my bond with my old blockmates, but I've also met a new family that I love.

CHAPTER 4 : Realizations
(October-December)

During the last remaining months of the year, I've started to fathom the unfathomable. Things became clearer and I had the chance to fix everything I broke. For starters, I've learned that being a great leader means having to put everyone else above you. It's not always one person's decision that should be followed, everyone's opinion should be heard. Things can't always go the way you want it to, some just happen and sometimes it's for the better. Being a leader means being a good listener. One must pay attention to what the team is feeling and be sensitive about it. These realizations paved way to a new me. The me who knows when to change and when to retain what needs to stay grounded. Also, I've realized that it's good to deviate from the norm. Meet people, mingle with them and just enjoy every second that life offers. Never ever stick to the status quo, go out there and have a YOLO night.

This 2014, I plan to start my new book (blog actually haha) entitled "Project Happiness" for I plan to make my last year in college worth remembering and for a genuine happiness to finally stay. Happy New Year everybody! :*

A Cup of Coffee

I currently am in Starbucks, enjoying my cup of coffee as I blog about how I feel. We usually go out with our friends and enjoy a cup of coffee while catching up or if we're lucky, we'll be with someone special and have a romantic date like those in movies. Unfortunately, I'm all alone now, sitting on a chair without anyone to look in the eye and say "I'm lucky to have you." For two years I've been telling myself I don't need someone special  to make my life more  exciting, but  I guess I was wrong.  I can go out alone, but it would be better  to be holding someone else's hand and look at the beauty of the world together. It really is hard to find someone who'll match your weirdness  and give you "the look" like those in Disney movies.

We usually hesitate to buy a cup of coffee cause it may be too hot, too sweet or too bland, but we end up purchasing one to keep us up or give us warmth when we're cold. It's very much like looking for that special flame, we end up searching for one cause we know that we can never wander in this world alone and it's good to share your happiness wiith someone who's the reason behind it.  The idea of having someone to spend a liftetime  with justifies the old aphorism "the best things in life are free."  A friend once told me, "at the end of the day, it's your happiness that matters," this 2014, no more second thoughts, and no more what if's. It's time to buy that cup of coffee I'm unsure of  and try to see if it'll be worth it. :)

Christmas Wish List

It's kinda amusing and amazing how Christmas could make everyone extra generous. I don't know if gift giving is just a tradition or is something that we do whole heartedly to show our appreciation for the people around, but it had been the essence of this season. We make wish lists annually for we know that during this time of the year, we could get what we want. Normally, I would list down endless things I want two weeks before Christmas day, but this year was different. When I was asked, "what do you want for Christmas?" my mind suddenly shut down. I tried to think of material things I wanted, but then I realized that I am already contented with everything I have, which I think is the best Christmas gift God gave me.

Contentment is a simple word that's hard to achieve. We just never run out of things we want which compensates what we really need. Maybe the reason why I wasn't able to think of what I want for Christmas was because I was prioritizing my needs..

I need people who will listen to my endless problems and fantasies about love since watching too much mainstream chick flicks made me hopeless romantic. 

Laarnie Leonardo

Janica Tria

Doreen Ebueng

I need people who will appreciate my hard work and tell me straight up when I'm being too controlling or too bossy. 

 

Eric Lopez

Mica Vallejo

Joa Santos

Genelu Dy

 

James Carino

Angel Reyes

I need people who will understand me every time I become capricious but still love me at the end of the day and bring happiness to my life. 

AB DANCE SYNERGY

Rocky Abueva

Earl Corral

I need people who will join my weirdness and never leave, cause they know I'd do the same. 

Ives Galang and Kevin Antonio

Cyron Aranas

CA5 GIRLS 

CA5 BOYS (and girls haha)

Mirchi Madrilejos

CA2-CA5 

I need people who will help me improve my skills and have fun with at the same time.

CA2

I need people who will slap me real hard whenever I make stupid decisions and do crazy shit but still support me all the way. 

 

Kim Maneclang

Krissy Bataclan

BH

4S

The rest of my HS batchmates!

Yani Moya and Nikki Macatangay

I need people who will make me realize how lucky I am to have them in my life. 

My Family <3

Featuring my best friend Kim

And I'm proud to say that I indeed have everything I need, which puts the Merry in my Christmas. :"> Happy holidays everyone! 

 

Second Chances

I got inspired to write about "second chances" because of the latest episode of The Carrie Diaries, one of my favorite American series. The episode started with Larissa, Editor-in-Chief of Interview magazine, giving Carrie another shot to write something worth publishing after she chose to not publish her first article about a playwright named Weaver, who eventually became her boyfriend. I won't narrate the whole episode but it actually made me cry. It ended with everybody getting a second shot on the things they lost and a discernment of hope.

Carrie said that second chances were made for people to have hope. Not everyone goes back to the drawing board after screwing an opportunity, most people just give up and let the chip on their shoulder take over them. The best part about failure is that it gives us a chance to see the downside of life and in turn, makes us want to work harder. We never get to hit the nail on the head the first time we try to (unless you're lucky), success is a process that we take slowly. Rome was not built in one day. Carrie chose love over her career, but after ending things with Weaver, she hit two birds with one stone: got back with Sebastian, the love of her life and gave her Interview magazine career another try. It was a tough task  because she had to interview a successful fashion designer who only entertains professional journalists and not a highschool intern, but because of her perseverance and determination, she achieved what she was aiming for.

Fall down seven times but stand up eight, they say. Failure is a sign that we're doing things right. We were not made to experience a perfect life, we were made to make life perfect. We can never truly appreciate the beauty of life if we've never been in the dumpster. After all the obstacles we'll go through, there's only one thing that we should forever keep in our minds: there's no such thing as a wrong path nor a wrong decision, everything we do is part and parcel of who we are bound to be.

The Perfect Pre-Christmas Get Away

       Christmas is the time of the year where people are too busy buying gifts, planning Christmas parties and preparing meals. But my friends and I decided to go on a roadtrip and feel the cold breeze in Tagaytay. It was planned, unlike our first impulsive decision to go there at around 1am last Saturday. But before we enjoyed our cup of coffee and honey glazed donuts in Starbucks, we went through a nonstop argument which led us girls to Eastwood and the boys to MOA. Thinking that our Tagaytay trip wouldn't push through, we had a San Mig Apple sesh first which Janica replaced with christmas stickers in this collage. =))))

         After our incessant rants about the boys ditching us, we decided to go to Tagaytay without them but told Janica we were heading to Nuvali so she'd come with us (hehehehe). While on the road, Gian texted us that they were going to follow us there and join us in our YOLO night. The original plan pushed through which made me realize that the greatest things happen in the least expected way. We first imagined Kevs driving us on the way while we play loud music and sing our hearts outs on the road. It didn't happen, but we still had the time of our lives. :) It was indeed a great night with crazy people!

                                                                 Kevin being Kevin. =)))

                                                                 Strong girls and boy! :*

                                                             The obligatory cheerleader pose!

                                                        Reppin my metal 97 sweatshirt!

                                                                and my Mocha Frappe! :)

Walking Through Realms

      Everyday, I walk along two prominent realms in this world: reality and fantasy. We all create scenarios in our heads of how things should be. Whenever I put my ear phones on, I always imagine myself in a music video, walking along the streets, looking at the sun as it shines brighter, smelling the pink flowers while it slowly blooms and smiling at the people who are smiling back at me. Having a pie in the sky makes us optimistic, but having the initiative to work hard for it to become real is what makes this world complicated. Reality is scary, for you can't control what happens. When I remove my ear phones, I see the gloomy sky, the lifeless plants and the people who just ignore me as I pass by. Fear often creeps into me and takes over my sanity. I start to overthink, which makes me vulnerable. But somehow, at the end of the day, my fantasy and reality collide.

      It's amazing how powerful our minds could be. It could make us strong and weak at the same time. As a teenager who loves to procrastinate, I always live longer in my fantasy. I dream of a perfect life and having a perfect guy beside me, but when reality gets jealous, it kicks my fantasy real hard that I feel the pain. It's not a broken heart kind of pain, but a broken dream rather. It hurts to accept the reality that my life is not even half of what I imagine it to be, but I'm honestly glad it's not. I want to drive a bright red strada that screams "there's a bitch inside" as I drive along Espana, but if I do so, I wouldn't wake up early in the morning just so I could get in an fx fast. I want to have a minimum of 1,000 pesos a day so I could shop whenever I want, but if I have that amount of money, I wouldn't learn to be economical. I want a boyfriend who buys me roses everyday, dances with me under the rain and sings to me even if he doesn't know how, but if I had that type of guy, I wouldn't learn to accept a person as he is and eventually love him for being the imperfect guy that makes my day perfect. I want to be a dancer who can do anything but if I were that talented, I wouldn't work hard to improve. Though my life is a series of stressful events, I love it. I love chasing jeepneys when I'm late for class, I love looking for cute yet cheap clothes and I love being with a guy who makes my standards look stupid. The smallest unfortunate details of my life makes me the crazy, witty, and gabby Communication Arts junior and the hyper, kinetic and erratic co-captain internal of the official dance troupe of the Faculty of Arts and Letters, AB Dance Synergy.

         In my fantasy I'm Carrie Bradshaw, an aspiring writer and Jenna Hamilton, a misfit that's not scared to dance alone. But when I open my eyes and look in the mirror, I'm just Nicoline Rosalina Mundo Lizarondo, a 19-year-old chick who loves to travel in the tricky realms our world offers. :)