Everyday, I walk along two prominent realms in this world: reality and fantasy. We all create scenarios in our heads of how things should be. Whenever I put my ear phones on, I always imagine myself in a music video, walking along the streets, looking at the sun as it shines brighter, smelling the pink flowers while it slowly blooms and smiling at the people who are smiling back at me. Having a pie in the sky makes us optimistic, but having the initiative to work hard for it to become real is what makes this world complicated. Reality is scary, for you can't control what happens. When I remove my ear phones, I see the gloomy sky, the lifeless plants and the people who just ignore me as I pass by. Fear often creeps into me and takes over my sanity. I start to overthink, which makes me vulnerable. But somehow, at the end of the day, my fantasy and reality collide.
It's amazing how powerful our minds could be. It could make us strong and weak at the same time. As a teenager who loves to procrastinate, I always live longer in my fantasy. I dream of a perfect life and having a perfect guy beside me, but when reality gets jealous, it kicks my fantasy real hard that I feel the pain. It's not a broken heart kind of pain, but a broken dream rather. It hurts to accept the reality that my life is not even half of what I imagine it to be, but I'm honestly glad it's not. I want to drive a bright red strada that screams "there's a bitch inside" as I drive along Espana, but if I do so, I wouldn't wake up early in the morning just so I could get in an fx fast. I want to have a minimum of 1,000 pesos a day so I could shop whenever I want, but if I have that amount of money, I wouldn't learn to be economical. I want a boyfriend who buys me roses everyday, dances with me under the rain and sings to me even if he doesn't know how, but if I had that type of guy, I wouldn't learn to accept a person as he is and eventually love him for being the imperfect guy that makes my day perfect. I want to be a dancer who can do anything but if I were that talented, I wouldn't work hard to improve. Though my life is a series of stressful events, I love it. I love chasing jeepneys when I'm late for class, I love looking for cute yet cheap clothes and I love being with a guy who makes my standards look stupid. The smallest unfortunate details of my life makes me the crazy, witty, and gabby Communication Arts junior and the hyper, kinetic and erratic co-captain internal of the official dance troupe of the Faculty of Arts and Letters, AB Dance Synergy.
In my fantasy I'm Carrie Bradshaw, an aspiring writer and Jenna Hamilton, a misfit that's not scared to dance alone. But when I open my eyes and look in the mirror, I'm just Nicoline Rosalina Mundo Lizarondo, a 19-year-old chick who loves to travel in the tricky realms our world offers. :)
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